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GuyRule #181.1: The 9 Rules of the Change Room
After a hard play with the boys on the field (or the ice or wherever your sport of choice is played), you just might head into the change room before you leave. There are a few rules that must be followed in this situation. Rule #1 - Do not immediately change and exit the premises. Spend your time talking about the game and the party later tonight and other guy stuff. Rule #2 - If there is a shower in the building, you are obliged to use it. Do _not_ leave smelling like stale sweat. No matter how self-conscious you are of your Johnson, you must enter the shower. Which brings me to... Rule #3 - While in the shower, you may scan to "evaluate the competition." However, you must not dwell more than a fraction of a second on any one schlong, and you must not make it obvious as to what you are doing. Above all, do not comment unless commented upon, or your cover will be blown. Rule #4 - If there are multiple showers in one room, and one opens up, you are obliged to take it. No waiting until the room is empty. Rule #5 - Do not face the wall when you shower - socialize. Look at your shower buddies' faces and talk like you normally would - after all, we're all guys here, right? Rule #6 - Similarly, don't wrap yourself in your towel immediately before and after showering, and don't rush in the shower unless there is a line of anxious, sweaty people. Be one of the guys! Rule #7 - If you have shampoo, and someone else doesn't, share. However, do not bring soap into the shower for fear of it dropping. If you must use soap, do not share it. And for God's sake, bring your own towel. Rule #8 - Do not piss in the shower or on people in the shower. I don't care how sterile it is; it's just wrong. So don't. Rule #9 - You've heard something like this before... what happens in the change room, stays in the change room. Same reasons as usual. -Chris