Category: Wife

GuyRule #494.0: Girl Moves In
When a girlfriend decides to move in (you know you have no REAL say in this, unless you want go straight back to 'single' in .01 seconds flat) you must never allow in your room: 1) Scented crap. I'm talking popouri, soaps, glade plugins, oils, flowers, potted plants, perfume bottles, or her clothes (her perfume smells good on her but let the stink live in your bedroom for a couple days and you'll despise it). 2) Visible undergarments. You don't want errant bras and panties all over your room. What if your buddies dropped by for a beer? They know you've got a girlfriend and don't need visible panty proof. If you can see it, its fair game to kick under the bed, closet, down the garbage shoot. Feign innocence (or ignorance) afterward. 3) Her makeup toolbox. She's already taken over 90% of the bathroom with her easel and face painting equipment (not to mention stockings and other alien adornments and contraptions you never knew existed till she moved in). Once again, if its outside the bathroom its fair game. There's also the situation of being partially moved in where she spends half her nights at your place. In this case her volume of personal girly possesions is greatly reduced (for instance 90% of the bathroom is still yours). However, never never never never allow the woman to 'invade' your closet with her clothes (predominatly dresses). It usually goes like this, "Oh, I just want to keep 2 or 3 dresses here so I don't have to go home and change in case we want to go out" or "I have no room in my closest, can I keep these little things here?" Next thing you know most of your closet space is taken up and you can't find your favourite pair of torn jeans cuz she tossed them out to make space for her dresses that she never wears. What's the rule? Protect your territory savagely. -Paul