"Have you noticed how every guy has to fiddle with the controls in the steam room, even if everything's working fine?" -F

"Can't say that I've been to the steam room." -R

"Oh yeah, it's great. After 9:00 when the lifeguard's left, you can bring in beer." -F

"You were saying about the controls?" -R

"Right. There's a button you push that's supposed to start the steam, but all the guys know that it doesn't work. The trick is to spray water on the temperature probe to trigger the thermostat. This is where guys show their stuff -- if you don't spray enough, nothing happens. If you spray a lot, it gets too hot." -F

"Where is this steam room, anyway?" -R

"YMCA, Senior Men's Locker Room. So are you listening to my Guy Rule or what? If you don't spray enough, you look like a goof. The steam has gone, but nobody wants to get up and do it properly because they'd EMBARRASS you, like with making a fire. So -- speaking of BARE ASS -- you're left with a bunch of naked guys in a room and no steam. They all hit the showers, and you feel like a klutz." -F

"Heh, heh -- time to throw gas on it, like with the campfire." -R

"And if you spray too much, the steam keeps going and going. The other guys don't know if you did it deliberately, because you're tough, or if you can't handle the controls. No one wants to be the first to leave, even though it's way too hot. If you can stay to the last, you win respect from the guys." -F

"It's a Guy Rule." -R