And if you are a manly kind of man and shit for extended periods, make sure you take some reading material with you when you go in cause you know you're gonna sit and shit, sit and shit for at least 20 minutes. And for God sakes piss before you shit lest someone mistakes you for a woman in the stall taking a tinkle. Never go in the stall for less than five minutes. That's a sure breach of bathroom etiquette, unless it's one of those porta-jons cause you can only hold your breath for so long in there.
And, if you are one of those fart and shit as you go along kind of guys, make sure you flush as you fart so no one will think you just lost some major internal organ down the crapper. And it is always acceptable to make some kind of comment after a good dump (unless women folk are around) like 'damn I feel 5lbs lighter' or 'I shit therefore I am.'" -Vince