Category: Camping

GuyRule #84.0: Using Gas to Make a Fire

"On the same parallel, maybe the same plane as nailing, the real camper, is the guy who can start the fire." -G

"And quickly." -D

"And quickly, and without, with the least amount of gas." -G

"No! No gas!" -D

"No, no, no, that's" -G

"All natural, or nothing." -D

"Yeah, I know, but that's only the really good guy. Okay, if you are down to desperate measures to make your fire work, that's the gas." -G

"No, see, I think that just takes away from the whole thing." -D

"Of course, that's the Desperate-Man-Move Guy Rule!" -G

"But that would be a breach to use gas. Only if he spent a long time without it." -D

"That's right. He has to have proved to the other guys that he's worthy of the gas. That's the last, desperate attempt. 'Cause then there's always that one" -G

"However! If he does say 'okay, I'm gonna use gas,' it's okay for the other guy to say 'nah, move over, let me do it without." -D

"Now that's a trump. That's a fire-ring trump. You're trumpin' the guy's fire shit!" -G

"It's within Guy Rules!" -D

"Yeah, but..." -G

"You can't let the guy pour gas all over." -D

"It depends on how well you know the guy." -G

"Well..." -D

"It's important to point that out at this particular juncture. You couldn't go in and pull the guy right out of the fire duty." -G

"No, no, not if you just met him..." -D

"No." -G

"If he took you to his favorite campsite..." -D

"That's right." -G

"If his family is around watching you." -D

"No, never. You can not jump in, but you let him know..." -G

"But you can look at him, like 'yeah, gas is what you should've used all along. Full approval, and then later you might kick him in the ass a bit." -D

"Yeah, yeah that's right. That's later on. That's right. But then the worst thing you could do..." -G

"Much later you'll be looking back on the trip like, 'remember when you had to use gas on that fire?" -D

"Yeah, but listen, here's the story, man. You can not go in and trump the guy's shit early on in the camping because now you've got to spend the rest of the time with that guy. Okay, if you go ahead and trump his shit early on, he's gonna hate you, the trip'll be ruined. Okay? But the worst thing you can do, you don't wanna go a trump the guy's shit, okay, and then the next morning it's up to you to start the fuckin' fire. 'Cause if you can't get it done, then you are in the ground." -G

"You look at him and go, 'Heh, I'm, ah, gonna use gas too.'" -D

"All of a sudden, now you've got no bargaining power. But there's always, if you stand back (that's a big ploy, okay), you stand back and let the other guy start the fire and he's gotta use the gas and you don't say anythin', he's always knowing, there's always that He's-Being-Sanctimonious-On-Me-You-Sonnovabitch kinda thing. You've gotta know when to participate in the fire ring. Do you wait awhile, back off and wait till he goes to the gas, or help him out?" -G

"Heh, you're a guy, you make the call." -D

"That's right. It's a Guy Rule." -G